Time as white sound
Monday, May 24, 2010

I sit here, having barely two weeks before my SAT exams, and fresh out from two weeks without a practice session lasting longer than 30 minutes. I am positively sick and tired from having to force myself to scribble answers that when marked with a cross, inspire determination at a cost: the rudimentary fact that I am not any where close to achieving the Golden 2100 and above for my SAT results. This ought to bother me; that I'm not as smart on paper as the Ivies with their tall top hats and noses in the air; as smart as the top-anything for whichever university. But lo and behold! Here I am, smiling like an idiot- feeling as happy as a clam- mud clogged in my sorry eyes that can't seem to shed a tear from my futile attempts. Some say that I am merely wallowing in the cold sand of my self pity, but I say to heck with it- try as I may and fail as I may in achieving the perfect score- I will promise that I do my best and be proud of whatever outcome I reap from this experience.

11:54 AM

Sunday, January 03, 2010

We're into the oh-so-futuristic sounding 2010 where people once thought we would've have technology on par with the Jetsons, but no: we're still depleting fossil fuel resources; still waiting for a railway network denser than the New York subway, and most of our cars don't fly, let alone run on clean energy. Sorry, correction- none of our cars can fly.

This is the Jetsons far from being realised. The world still spins on it's same ol' axis. The world won't end in 2012. The world is big and scary. Still.
But really, what I'm getting at is that nothing has changed too drastically if we think about it. After all, fines from the library are constantly being chalked up (see? nothing's changed) which reminds me- I have to get my book in by the 5th. Ack. Don't you just hate the new ruling which bars you from borrowing any library materials so long as you harbour a cent that you owe?

Pardon the conscientious and punctual when it comes to returning library materials, but we common folk tend to sit rather comfortably on the fact that we can hold back a couple of dollars due as we continue our borrowing business. In fact, we love it because it gives you a cheap thrill getting away with that 3-something you owe. Bad news for the NLB though- multiply that by a million borrowers and you're in for some major debt that could fund Epsilon infanticide.

Alright, I'm just kidding. I'm not evil and besides, we are a politically correct society- we accept everyone of all races and religion, level of intellect, talent, looks, culture or manners. Epsilon or no epsilon, we are indeed such accepting people -Stepford Smile-

But okay, moving on to more relevant topics, let's talk about New Year resolutions since we simply got to or else something would be amiss. For convention's sake anyway, just as how during Christmas, you gotta have presents and weight gain. Convention's sake, yeah? I pledge to... not sleep after 12.30 am because for the past week or so, I haven't been sleeping early and although I get my eight hours, I still feel as if some part of myself would just fall apart just based on the fact that my eight hours starts after midnight!

Strange yes, but don't judge me.

Anyway, a happy 2010 to all the readers of the Local Laundromat (which is probably close to zero, considering the fact that I've hardly been updating) But that will hopefully change since writing more is another of my resolutions! Yes, another one.

8:42 PM

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The mysterious case of the disappearing cash-
Two weeks from payday, a poor young man finds his account magically drained, devoid of any trace of evidence except from those dreaded words on the screen of the ATM machine- "The amount exceeds your available balance". The ATM is either your best friend or worst enemy. It tells you if you're a rich bitch or a sad sorry penniless loser who doesn't know how to save money.

No, don't call Sherlock- he'd be too busy investigating something more worth his time like dead dames in English countryside manors. He couldn't be bothered if your money is missing , and neither could anyone else. -Right, you may insert a sad pouty face here if you wish-
It's a classic scenario: how after two weeks from payday, your money seems to have gone, and it leaves you wondering if it's the fault of the ATM machine. Or if you've really been that much of an irresponsible spender.

Or how when you have $19.99 in your account and the machine only dispenses a minimum of $20. Oh! Or how the machine only gives out $50 notes and you're sadly left with less than that inside your account.

Must learn to save. Grr...

8:07 AM

One dacquoise. Some hokkien mee. At 30 minutes past midnight.
This is another Bridget Jones's Diary.

This goes out to everyone who stands in the bathroom stark naked looking in the mirror, wondering how you could shed a few pounds or be more toned in certain parts of your bodies, squeezing so hard to make your abdomen magically dissect into neat little pieces of six (or eight), when two would not even appear.

When sometimes you wish that pecs could be as easy as a breast implant.
When sometimes you wish that a few centimetres would do you good.

Well it's all passe because it's a feeling that we've thought of a time too many.

12:30 AM

Sunday, November 08, 2009

It's true that this blog has been collecting dust (And i bet you're thinking how many times I've used the phrase 'collecting dust' already as it is) Add another 2 to your 'collecting dust' counter. Three.
It's also true that I am utterly tired of my blogskin since it has a text window width of an Asian virgin. Yeah, my blog habits have been clamped up and tightly ungenerous.

So in light of such a circumstance, I have decided to let the creative juices flow liberally out of this open window of inspiration. The metaphorical va-jay-jay if you would call it that- the lovely grey matter- the brain. If all that didn't make much sense, then nevermind. This blog was never meant to be completely understandable anyway. This is a random article that you read for your pleasure, or temporary appeasement from your boredom if you'd prefer to see it that way.

This evening, I have decided to show you a violent clip from one of the video game previews I chanced upon while browsing reviews for any Wii titles which I may be interested in, because well... you know, my birthday is coming up and I might get a Wii game to pamper myself

PS: If you wanna get something for my birthday, vouchers from clothing lines, beauty products, make up brushes, wii games, board games or anything hand made are greatly appreciated. Wow that was blunt.

Moral of the story:

All that is Greek ends in tragedy.
And Greek violence is bad for mental health.

9:22 PM

Monday, September 21, 2009

I didn't go out this entire weekend, and instead I embraced tele-vision.

Expect more snacking if you choose to do so, because telly is a smothering bastard who'll invite the chocs and sweets to come rolling in.
Not before long, you'll also realise that such a sedentary lifestyle will cause you to grow rolls on your tummy. Yeast powder in your gut.
Unless you want to become a fluffy poofy jiggly jongle, indulge in your basic aerobic exercises which I will be involved in within the next 20 minutes.

I know I like to procrastinate. Procrastination is my gigolo prostitute.
And I fit greasy dollar bills into his Elastic Versace underwear.

4:18 PM

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Well... In the words of Britney Spears' Break The Ice:

It's been a while
And I know I shouldn't have kept you waiting.
But I'm here now.

Gee, what a cheesy start to a new blogpost

8:10 PM

Monday, August 10, 2009

I'm back after a long break.

This time with broken shards of acrylic for a heart.
I didn't want to end it because I knew he was the one.

But I need time.

9:49 PM