Time as white sound
Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I'll be flying away!

And I'll be back in 2 weeks time! Miss me!

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin'
Its early morn'
The taxis waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go cause
Im leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

11:12 AM

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


1:14 AM

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I'm going in real soon! I'm excited! Nervous! Everything!

6:33 PM

Friday, January 23, 2009

I've been reading this book titled 'Veronika Decides To Die'

Be mad, or so I've learnt from the book. Doing things slightly crazy every now and then. Break the monotony that many fall within. And you'll feel more satisfied.

I did something 'crazy' today which I normally wouldn't do. It made me happier.
And I will do something 'crazy' yet again tomorrow.

9:27 PM

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I was told by friends not to say it.
And you were told by your friends not to say it.

But we followed our hearts and instincts and did it anyhow.

Because of this, there is a future possibility.

It is good to have faith.
In time, love.

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth

10:37 PM

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

It feels like a prenuptial agreement meeting in action.
Ho hum.

On the other hand, these last 6 days are like fast forward for me. Too many things to accomplish, and I can't go in without any unfinished business.

Gee, why do I make it sound like I'm going to die?

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black

11:30 PM

Is it even possible to feel a stupendously enormous spectrum of emotions towards a single person?

I guess so.

I'm not depressed or anything but why must my life contain so much freaking drama?
Act Five of a Shakespearean tragedy that keeps on replaying.

8:45 AM

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hope for the best, expect the worst.

Well, this is my final week before I get shipped off to the colonies for good ol' BMT.
What I'm most afraid of is Pes C BMT being more strenuous than expected from your typical 'Oh Pes C BMT is such a cakewalk' kind of thing.
Complacency could kill you. But so can pessimism.
So I might as well remain apathetic about things.

Not as if I don't have enough apathy swirling in my brain.
Too much apathy to the point that it makes almost everyday over the past week seem the same.

Don't worry, I certainly won't do anything crazy or inappropriate such as shooting myself with a rifle.

5:20 PM

Monday, January 19, 2009

-Night time. Manny runs to the top of the lighthouse balcony. He sees Lola injured by a shot of deadly sproutella. She is fast being ravaged by the blooming daisies on her bones-

Manny: Lola?

Lola: Careful Manny, you may not want to see me like this.

Manny: Lola, did Nick do this to you?

Lola: Yeah. He wanted that picture real bad, but he's never going to find it, that fink.

Manny: I'll get him Lola. I'll show Max that picture for you and fix Nick for good, Just tell me where you hid it.

Lola: Oh Manny. It's all my fault, always falling for the wrong guys. You know, I even had a thing for you once... But you were so hung up on that Meche woman I figured I didn't have chance.

Manny: Lola, where's the picture?

Lola: Tell me Manny, would I have had a chance? (Manny looks away)...Never mind. Just warn Oliva for me. Tell her to improve her taste in men. Or she'll end up just like me. Tell her to get a nice guy Manny, like you...

-Flowers ravage Lola till she is reduced to nothing but a spray of daisies-

Manny: Lola! Lola!!...

6:19 PM

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I wish I had a heart of glass

4:54 PM

Friday, January 16, 2009

It's gonna be a fun day tomorrow!

7:07 PM

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I know I'll be able to get by. I just know it.
Hey, if this is the point of no return, I know I'll survive.
And no, I am not thinking of the song 'I Will Survive' because that's really just ridiculous
since I'm not angry at all.

Instead of type type type, I was tie tie tie.

Tie dyeing and Amy Winehouse. That was my day.
I love you Amy.
I swear I will buy your third album

8:08 PM

I've had one too many weird, strange dreams this past few days.
Come to think about it, this whole thing feels like waking up from some bittersweet dream of my own.

9:19 AM

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Greyscale can be painful, but I know that someday I will understand.

Nothing seems to be the way it used to
Everything seems shallow
God give me truth
In me and tell me
Somebody's watching over me
And that is all I'm praying
Is that...
Someday I will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he's done to me
Oh but maybe
Someday I will breathe
And I'll finally see
I'll see it all in me

9:40 AM

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

You'd think they would make you feel better.
What am I talking about. They always do.

Now what's this about listening to dead people on old records, Matt?
There shall be no sad faces in this house, and that includes you.

You might as well celebrate.

I'm young and I love to be young
I'm free and I love to be free
To live my life the way I want
To say and do whatever I please

2:49 PM

I realize a certain pattern: I get bad dreams whenever the covers slip off. When I wake up from those dreams, I find myself without any covers and left out in the cold. Not that I sleep in the nude of course, but yes, it's better to be under the covers to ensure higher chances of getting better dreams.


Speaking of dreams, I had a bad one last night.
Something to do with trains in England.
Zooming up escalators which sprouted from the basement of the train platform. The kinds like Dhoby Gauht and City Hall Interchange.
Chasing someone, with that person getting onto a train to Worcester (I kid you not, I remember that name clearly)

And as the person ran into that train, I tripped and fell.
And the train left.

Strange thing was that the person was naked.

Weird dreams really puzzle me!

12:11 PM

Monday, January 12, 2009

Things will only be going up from here.
Think hot air balloons and helium.

I will not look down when I'm up in the sky and think 'oh how sad' or 'oh if only'.
When you've got your magic shoes, tap em and everything will be alright.
Hey nonny nonny.
Nobody's dying. Nobody's leaving when they're just a phone call or a magic letter away.
Up, up and away...

7:12 PM

The 2008 GCE O Level results are released today, and pretty soon it'll be our turn to receive our results too! Yikes!

Hyperventilate. A wheeze and a brief moment of panic.

I'm pretty convinced that it'll be out in late February though, so I guess I'll be heading back to school with by baldie hairdo. Buzz cut. I never liked the sound of botak or baldie. Makes you feel like you've been sentenced to a lifetime in the monastery. Either that or you're undergoing chemotherapy.

Well, get messed up results and you might as well go for it.

Right. No more mentioning of such potentially frightening news. Shoo-shoo.
(I was talking about the results, not chemotherapy by the way. Even though chemotherapy is arguably even more frightening)

So... Another brilliant day we're having. The weather in December and January is always nice because of all the cool wind and breeze, which makes it feel like Sydney in Spring or Europe for that matter. Later on in the year and it'll be back to our Jungle Hell of grass browning heat and even more grass browning heat.

So don't complain if you find it getting too cold for your liking sometimes in the evenings these days. Just close your eyes and pretend you're on some Winter European vacation or something. Alternatively, continue grumbling till the sickening Singaporean weather returns, and THEN you'd be wishing for more breeze.

I've always loved windy weather since young.
In fact, I wouldn't mind a non-destructive hurricane sweep by every now and then. But that doesn't make sense, doesn't it? All hurricanes are destructive.
Never mind.

3:19 PM

Saturday, January 10, 2009

A bowl of oatmeal in the morning, and now I've finished cutting a star on a corrugated plastic board. Valentine's day 2008, much? I refuse to use the term 'friendship day' instead because it just spoils the whole speciality of it all. But hey, I remember being the guy who received the most flowers in school that day. Apparently.

So much so that while I was walking with my drama friends, these other J1s approached me and thought that I was the deliverer of the flowers instead. Lol.

The star's for Debbie's birthday anyhow. Jasvir predicts an overflowing excess of food for the picnic. Well, at least that saves me the effort to cook or bake something- real sorry about that! By the time I came home from the open house and dinner with the drama mates, it was already close to 11! And Gabby wants me to meet her at 12.30 too, so there really isn't any time.

Watching Grease the musical later tonight.

I hope nothing too serious would be discussed before that.
And before I end this blog post, I'd just like to say... Happy Birthday Debbie!

10:25 AM

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Okay so here I am once again in front of the computer screen, which has become my new best friend ever since like a month and a half ago. And no, in case you're wondering, I'll not be watching Star Wars episode 5 on youtube since the computer speakers are screwing up.

I keep procrastinating to get my hair trimmed though... I know what you're thinking- that all of it will be shaved off to a buzz cut later this month anyhow, so what's the point. But hey, at least let this boy exercise some form of autonomy right now. While he still can. I keep telling myself that 7 weeks of Pes C BMT is even shorter than a school term, so just get it over and done with.

In the meantime, I've been itching to play a game of Cluedo with a couple of friends. Or any board game for that matter.

2:15 PM

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

I spent my time watching Star Wars Ep 4 on youtube, and read about one-fifth of this new book I bought today just to get my mind away from certain things.

Sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me, and I'm so so sorry Cowboy!

6:30 PM

The fall from grace is a long way down.

You have no saftey net that
you knew you once had to catch you.
And when you fall from that tightrope
way up high in the sky
All you feel is horror. Anguish. Immense sadness
Along with that awkward elevator Muzac playing in your head.
Music. Whatever.

You don't have time to debate on grammer
when you're falling downwards at the speed of light.

3:42 PM

I've been trying to get the censored video, and here is the best I could get.

And I dedicate this song to all the clique bitches!

Whenever I watch the 'Womanizer hand grab' at the office scene in the music video, I always think of Sam's incident at St. James' HAHAHAHA

Daddy O
You got the swagger of a champion
Too bad for you
Just can't find the right companion
I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard
It could be easy
Who you are, that's just who you are, baby...

9:52 AM

Sunday, January 04, 2009

I think I would have the potential to be a brilliant hermit.

So I can feel no pain.

9:44 PM

'Love Is A Losing Game' by Amy Winehouse

In 2008, final year English Literature students at Cambridge
University were asked to analyse lyrics to this song, as well as lyrics by Sir
Walter Raleigh, Bob Dylan and Billie Holiday, as part of their end of year
examinations in 'Practical Criticism'

For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game

Why do I wish I never played
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand
Love is a losing hand

Self professed profound
Till the chips were down
Know you’re a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Though I'm rather blind
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the Gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

12:34 PM

Saturday, January 03, 2009

I would like to do several things with my time this year.
Go for auditions, sing in church, and probably volunteer my time as a storyteller in the children's section of the library.

On top of that, I would like to be a superhero with powers of invisibility and electrical laser beam eyes. As such, I could wear weird-assed costumes and fight evil villains who aim for world domination and absolute havoc in the world. I could also just fry you with my laser beam eyes if I didn't like you. No wait... then that would make me a villain.

Ah heck it. And haven't I mentioned this before?

I wanna write a poem!!

12:32 PM

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy New Year everyone!!
This blog has been collecting dust, mould and what not (Yes, I acknowledge your tag board comments- thanks alot SAM AND COLIN)

Anyhow... you guys needn't be bored to tears because I won't make this post another reflective, soppy, sentimental piece of writing regarding my experiences over the past year, and on how I feel inspired to improve and be a better person/artist/performer/friend/son/whatever for 2009. Yada yada.

It's surreal that it's 2009 this soon.
Then again, everything new seems surreal to me to the point where I think I'm hallucinating.
New Years' Resolution #1: Stop hallucinating.

But nevertheless, it has been an interesting year (Oh believe me) and I look forward to more opportunities and adventures so to speak for the coming year ahead -insert smiley face-

First off, I'm considering heading to the CJ open house as a secondary school student to visit my drama mates. If I make it to MDC, I may be able to come back and give workshops to cj drama! There's just so much which I feel like I can give back and contribute, so I hope that this is one of the ways which I could do so. Which reminds me... I still need to head back to my sec school to collect my O level cert. Yeah, I realise that it has been long overdue. Shame on me.

Yes, and I'm making the best use of my time now before I enlist on Jan 28, so if you guys have any suggestions or cool places to head to, drop a msg on the tag board!

10:13 PM